Begging

France has many problems, besides being inhabited by Frenchies, one of them being the crawling mendicity all over the streets. Some self imposed, other real troubled people and even some criminalized groups.

One colleague justly pointed out to me that some actually are showing us that there is another way to live than the one we all must follow. Indeed, he has a point. Is their life worth more than ours that work and die running after mindless material possessions? Working and dying for nothing? Those I smile at, because they follow the path they desire, never asking for pity or more than a couple of coins in order to see the very next day and its wonders. Along with a few beers. Sadly they don't do anything to deserve it. At least a show, at least a good jape. Nothing.

I pity those who hit the streets out of their ending worlds, but I do not do much than throwing some coins once in while. But I despise the institutionalized false poverty that some gypsies and romanian mafias use and abuse in many corners of France. Some female beggars will shake an empty paper glass to make me hear the coins while saying pitié pitié, or a child will come looking at me with puppies eyes asking for "une pièce", never accepting a no for an answer. Asking as if I would say yes at some point. Others join their hands and ask with their silent faces. Almost true if it was not for the pimp guy a few meters behind them waiting for the daily salary. Or was it the glimpse of the golden teeth they show? They chose to live like that, living on the false kindness of those who help them. Some even refuse food. They want money. Some are forced to. But it's part of a system that can be controlled.

So much falsehood.

Meanwhile some souls are shattered and wait to die in the alley. Needing help that vultures keep away from them. They don't ask for anything, just letting go of life. Those we don't see. Happy to have made a good action feeding the professional beggars. We wait for the next winter to take as many as possible while we share a Christmas meal.

Did I mention the nice store windows that many youngsters make in their nice brand clothes in the city? Asking for 40 cents in front of the subway entrance? Poor guys. Spending so much money on clothes and hair conditioning oblige them to beg for a subway pass. Because today there is someone not allowing them to jump the barrier. Otherwise no money would be needed. Fashion is a demanding lover. And also here they prefer to have a G-star shirt than a decent meal. Trying to become someone they'll never be, trying to wear an image they will only see themselves in a world focused on looking into itself .

I'm not sure who the beggar is in all of this.

About Love and Work

Works are like relationships. During the seduction game it's all smiles and big promises both of eternal love and good practice. The first real date is always a shy one, nobody wants to overdo or show off. Both lovers waiting to discover more about the other agreeing on everything in a perfect world. After a few month some differences starts to appears, unexpected disagreements leading to some discontentment that are denied as “it's just a phase”.

Most work couples will go on smoothly for that part on because both of them know who is holding the pants in this relationship A.K.A. the Man (Using the old fashioned way of thinking that the man is the omnipotent final decider of everything. Well, to be true, never was and never will be: french readers check this). But love is not about who is the boss or who make the decisions. It's about concessions and dual evolution. Its a continuous process of finding solutions that please both of the contributors.

Phrases like:

• “Because I say so”

• “We do it this way as usual”

• “You have to do this this way”

• “For now this is our method”

• “We can't change this now”

• “It's perfect like that we do not need to change”

Should rise the DEFCON alarm of any employee. Listening and not acting is a bad move but not even listening is even worse. In love and at work be realist: claim for the best and nothing else. From this point it's a matter of what the lovers desire from each other: someone to be there or someone to be, there. The respect of your counter part, loved one or, as in many cases like mine,your best half, is primordial for a good love affair that can turn into a magnificent love story.

Working is and should be to all a way to do what they love and be rewarded accordingly their efforts. Yes, I know: it sounds so “fleur bleue” but it all depends on what you desire in life: the best for you or just something to tag along. I am old enough (or mature if I can express this work with “I” in the same phrase) to know what I want to be and to do. Everything under my requests are not taken into account anymore. I am a loving person and I do give all that I have and do not have for the ones I love. But I do it to those who deserve it. Work is not an exception, it's actually a statement of this ideal.

For many years I held on some work relationships even when this rule of good practice was not respected. It lead me to non fulfillment, unhappiness, disease and even bad temper (which I confess I “may” possess) reaching sometimes the high level of drama queen (without the gay part). So now my work life is aimed to be where I am supposed to be with the kind of persons I wish to be with. Not more not less. No offense taken if we both don't find what we wish for during the first months with this significant other.

I split recently because we both knew we were not going anywhere together. And I confess shamelessly: I've been seeing someone for some time now.