There and back again

Having drifted from one place to another for the last year, I start again in a new city surrounded by new people and opportunities. It feels a bit weird to be starting over again, though I can't afford to have regrets 20 years from now asking myself "What if I had chosen the other way?".

2013, let's begin on a good page!

Turning point

Life : at least a subject that everybody can talk about as a specialist. We all have our stories, good and bad, our memories, sad and laughable. We all even have life changing moments of real decisions impacting drastically the next course of events. No I am not talking about weddings or new jobs per se, I’m talking about those decisions that not yet have been taken, or, taken the opposite way or in another, which would lead to a very different outcome.

I can already hear the gamers of the world smiling, as this is one of the things really missing in the gaming world today, even if some games are gradually including this above mentioned decision making with more success (AKA Walking Dead), than others (Mass Effect 3). Depending on how seriously you look at life, I’m sure you can spot 4 or 5 turns of events in your life that changed everything and took you to a different route from the one you were walking at.

I rarely regret my past actions but sometimes I wonder what had become of myself if I had taken the blue pill. Then I smile and reassure myself of that I took the right decision - by not taking it. Similar changes may not have been options but more impositions, like a war for example. Most of the persons impacted by one were not eager to get into it. And you? How many of those moments did you have? How many times could you have been someone else? Are you still happy about where you are now? No?

Then it may be a good time to change that, don’t you think?

Guten Tag Deutschland

Unbelievable. After a week in Frankfurt I have the feeling of being in Europe again. Up 'til now, I've tricked myself into thinking that Erfurt was representing the whole of Germany. I couldn't be more wrong! Strange to me; people act nicely in Frankfurt, smile and make jokes all the time. If I don't count the WeihnachtsMarkt in Erfurt I've seen more smiles in a week in Frankfurt than during my 5 years in Erfurt.

Of course Frankfurt has its own issues and bad sides, as every places around the world, but you can feel welcome and fairly treated most of the time. I've been so wrong to believe that the bad vibes of a city would be a standard for all of this country. For that I'm sorry Germany, my bad. Now I believe I never lived in Germany before - I am rather discovering the real country.

Sitting in a typical Starbucks in the Frankfurt City Center I see most of the adults and young adults on their own but holding on to their smartphones. Only the elderly are actually enjoying a coffee and a talk. Couples, friends, no phone. A daughter and her mother talk and share laughs. I'm writing on a notepad. Damn I am old school. Or maybe just old. A lot of japanese fellows hang on to their technology, probably enjoying the free wifi. Some just write on their toys, other speak to it, hoping to sever the distance with their dear ones. The old Bayrish couple in front of me, that have been speaking for hours, left me with a smile and a warm goodbye. A young Ipad addict sits immediately in front of me with no word nor facial movement. The other seat was taken just a few seconds ago by a Japanese lad politely asking if the seat was free. Natürlich! At the entrance three young teenage girls gossip and laugh loud while sitting down. They talked for some time I remember. Normality.

Endlich in Deutschland.

Human Resources

The most interesting periods and places I've visited, lived in or worked at, are the ones where I got to know people - people that I care about. Sometimes too much, but never in vain. A son of two borders I am known as a foreigner on both sides. I rarely turned away from people coming into the world where I was living without giving a helping hand, for them to more easily be assimilated into their new surroundings. Better than most I know how one feels being the new guy, the outcast - the outsider. Because I also know that the common people, the so called "normal", can't understand what it means to start anew somewhere. Building a new life from scratch, sometimes because of fate, sometimes because of will. It is so easy to never leave the place where you are known and always lived. To stay between the walls of your own coziness, where everybody knows your name and home wherever you go, never alone, always safe. That's also why you can't understand what it means to leave it, even when you wished. Neither can you understand that getting an outsider in, is actually important for that person - outsider - that gave up the kind of safety net you live in. Opening up to newcomers can be an interesting way to discover a different world. No warranty of a good experience - but isn't life about it anyway? 

For many years I helped newcomers to simply adapt and become part of the pack. In every company I worked, I did my best to get the "newbies" to be one of the gang and create the bonds necessary for a strong feeling of belonging, to where they lived and worked. Most of the time I got simply forgotten after this first period but it felt good to be there for someone. Being a little push for someone's back is always rewarding, especially when you start to know who you can help. Because most of the selfish souls around will never give anything back. Not to me at least, and don't misunderstand me. I've seen so many people simply being helped themselves but never helping others, even when it was at their reach, not costing a thing.

When I landed in Toulouse, besides for my own personal Agenda, I came for work. Since then no word came from the company that hired me on how things were going. I travelled 2000 km to be there, alone and going through several misadventures of my own, and none of my new coworkers or employers gave a damn. Nor most of the people I had heard for years telling me how cool it would be to have me back there and to do things together once again.

The problem of having lived as an adventurer all your life is that when you stop, the people that never moved can't understand you nor really get off their own routine and just get you in as the newcomer you are. Humans are mostly not bonding anymore, they come and go without looking to meet new people. Going off the charts or out of the path is a mental state that I can't reach to. Doing the same thing over and over, year after year, meeting the same people and never occasionally talk to a random stranger just to see what comes out of it, inviting a colleague and see if we actually have some fun together, or helping someone in need near us, instead of wiring 5 fucking Euros for a poor African hungry boy that will never see the money nor the food we send. And I am the insane? Indeed. Living among people like that I must be. Probably I will never stop wandering this Earth, looking for other interesting humans. I've crossed many of them during my life, all with lessons to learn and to teach. None were bound to safety net of normality. All of them took a dive at some point. All of them reached out for something else than what they were meant to do or to be.

About life and boxing

Life is sometimes like boxing. You train harder and harder to be able to defeat your nemesis in your next big fight. You learn his moves, how he thinks, how he reacts - you become his shadow in order to finally get him down. Time passes and you get ready to rumble. The decided thoughts are now in a peaceful state, right before the announcement of the contestants. In the left corner you stand as a challenger. In the right corner is your nemesis - or should I call it objective as it sometimes happens to be? 

All what you prepared for months, sometimes for years, is right here within your grasp. You know how to defeat him and overcome him. Your heart starts to pound louder, covering the screams of the public. They want blood, and you are here to make him bleed. A perfect combination. The bell rings for the first round. Timidly sure about yourself, you advance forgetting for an instant all that you learned during all your training. Rapid successions of blows keep going and coming in all directions, still all fair, but they’re all an appetizer for the real exchange coming later. Another ring. First round is over. 

In your corner you feel you have a chance. He still believes you don't. A new ringing echoes in the arena. This time he comes for real, going hard on you. Your slight hesitation made you being cornered. Blows keep falling like a summer rain but you hold on tight. Then, you stop thinking. All that you learned comes naturally and the change of tide is arriving. The public cheers, both coaches lose their voices over orders that only your subconscious can hear. Damn bell. 

Out of confidence you sit down loudly, smiling. The testosterone pumps fast. You can't wait for more. The bell rings another time. This time you run into him. 

Block, block, counter, attack. Dance like a bee, sting like a wasp. You are taking the upper hand - all the way. He is dangerous but you know him better than he knows himself now. Spoiling the moment the bell brings you both the corner of reality you call life. 

The sound of the bell is now your wake up call, you jump ready to finish him once and for all. 

Block, block, counter, attack. All goes black. When you open your eyes, the brightness of the cellar lights almost blinds you. 

You hear the voices around you far away as when you wake up after a nap at the sea side… 

1

You realize that he knocked you out 

2

All was in vain, he got your upper hand. Or did he?

3

Your body is still not willing to obey, and your spirit is still shaken.

4

Shall you stand up and fight again?

5

...

The reshaping of our way to buy

I didn't really need anything at the moment but last Saturday I went on a little shopping spree in town. Besides the usual food supplies needed, I had a little wish list with some books and old CDs to look for. A couple of hundreds of Euros of goods that I buy when I want to give myself a treat, or, if I find it at a bargain price. That sounds like a bit of fun and a time consuming treasure hunt. But in our modern Era it is not.

I searched for elements in my wish list in the usual giant stores as Fnac and Virgin, deciding to cut the chase and just bring home some new book or something else. I searched for some non mainstream Tolkien books (not related to the Lord of the Rings books) but I could not find any of those. I even searched in the French book section as I naturally search for the original version every time I know the language. There were somewhat 30 copies of the Lord of the Rings. Nothing else.

Afterwards I decided to check the music section with a certain doubt, as Metal is usually not very well represented in those temples of uniformity. Barely just a couple of copies of the new CDs: Nothing to be found older than a couple of months.

That's what you get for being a lazy geek I thought. So I started to ran into every bookstore and music store in town. I am sure I didn't get them all but I am confident I got the big part of them under my scrutiny. And all for what? From the biggest to the tiniest, all offered me the same. Hundreds of copies of Twilight, dozens of Hunger Games books, thousands of pop CDs and other canned sound. The globalisation turned all the stores into identical ones. Call them what you want - you'll find in them the same products from the same time frame dicted by the Marketing sections.  Everybody sells the Intouchables DVD and surf on the trend of the month. More sports products for the Euro 2012 are to be seen everywhere too. Now, our world is so connected that we are all supposed to do, see, eat and think the same. The way we do shopping has changed too, even if most of the consumers refuse to see it. It is worthless to go shopping in a shop that sells the same as the other hundreds in town. Everybody sells the same. On a day like this, I saw that the stores sell their products at a higher price than they should, prices varied between 5 and 15 Euros from one store to another for the same product that everyone of them had. It's a question of being willing to go a little further.

In today's World buying online is the best approach. I get the best deals for all the products I desire. I don't need to pay 15 euros more to feed a company and pay an employee to be there for me when, most of the time, they don't really know what they are selling anyway. Is this good? On one hand yes, we can all get our products cheaper and delivered in two days - but at what cost? Job losses. Or transformation. If there is no stores, you will need more people to make the orders rolling. Stores need to adapt and become cultural areas where you can talk and from where one can order very specific products - not a place from where you can buy anything from someone who doesn't know a thing of what you are talking about. What I need are more places where I can have what I can't order with the help of internet access and a computer. Automatic labor is for machines. Actually if we turn that into reality most of the jobs will disappear. Most of the Help Desks can be automatic, most of the production lines too. We don't need the mauls of the 50' nor 120 sales men for each of them.

We don't even need the stores. We need time for us, and time to serve others, to give them a bit of what makes us unique. Art, builders of manufactured products, food or even services. Do we really need someone in a Gas station to fill up gas? Or so many people in a supermarket to pass the products over to us when we can just shop online and have them delivered a couple of hours later at our doors?

I don't even want to listen to the usual “we will lose human contact,  that's not good”. Well wake up, it's lost for a while. Most of the people barely say hello and goodbye to the ladies at the supermarket. We need to get rid of all of this time consuming useless tasks most of humanity call a job or, better said, a living. Most of us do not actually create anything. We pass by or resell. Blessed is the one that makes a living creating something or doing something useful. And no, I don't think that trying to sell me an iPhone is useful. I can do that all by myself online.

What if I am not sure? Well I'll ask another human being that won't make 0,23% of the sales plus bonus if I get a warranty on it. No thanks. Face it. You're useless at that position. DO something. Create, innovate. Leave the rest for the machines.

2017

20h00. France stops. The new President is for the first time a woman: Marine le Pen. The Far Right Party celebrates euphorically their victory side by side with millions of French people, abused by empty promises. Last elections in 2012 led to the rise of a populist left to the government. Hollande was the wild card winning an election that was remembered as a national vote against the abuses from Sarkozy. Hollande didn't win - Sarkozy lost the elections. France was chanting new songs of freedom and hope. For 100 days the state of grace lasted but then the harsh reality changed the citizens' point of view. All that was vowed before the elections was clearly not doable, nor were the results as good as expected.

They kept their heads afloat but proved to be as competent and treacherous as their Right opponents. Sooner than expected Hollande proved to be unable to lead France out of the recession but fast forwarding it deeper into it than ever before. Unemployment rose as fast as crime. No choice he took seemed to be the correct one. Soon he became the “gaffer” as he was unable to fulfill his protocol duties as well as take actions, as one expects a President should. He wanted to be normal but turned banal. He tried to look proud orientated and to spend less money than Sarkozy but he did spend more. Taking the train instead of a plane he forgot about the logistics having to be taken with that decision, as much as living in his own house instead of in the Presidential one led to that a whole new security plan had to be made around him. 

Soon before the end of his first 100 days the Left he led won the General Elections. They were unstoppable. Exactly as some had desired. Hollande had then the majority for the National Assembly. With full powers they also got full responsibilities. They did all that they wanted with catastrophic results. Only when there was no solution for the global situation they tried to revert to more realistic politics. The Right counted exactly on that, to win the following Presidential elections. But the citizens had enough of the lies of both the Left and the Right during the last 40 years, blaming each other and fate for the problems France had. This year France turned its back to the Right that was already chanting victory for the Presidential election. As expected, the Left lost after 3 years of failures. They hoped to win back their position to what it always had been. Both of the parties actually did. But 2017 was a year of real change. Marine was now President. 

For many a bad change was better than no change at all. France was again ruled by the Far Right.

What's right about the Right against what's left of the Left

French politics are boring and predictable. For the last 30 years it has become redundant and stereotyped. None of the parties are really willing to provide real solutions or projects for the future. Instead they keep on providing exactly what their usual voters want to hear. Marketing rules now.

Mini Rights and Mini Lefts exist as the first round of the French Presidential election showed. Too revolutionary with their propositions. Each and every one of them demonstrates rightfully needed changes but none of thempresent a real, full commitment for large scale politics. Utopic propositions without a real plan, many of themrealistic and in fact needed but again, nobody wants drastic changes without security. At least the majority of the people. Surely taking some of those little political parties for specific jobs within the future goverment would be a great asset for France but that's politic’s « all or nothing »: If you are not on my side, I'll choose someone less qualified and more into my mainstream ideas for the job.

The second round of elections brings a new « same o same o » cosy feeling. Two mainstream asceptic typical parties are running the last kilometer to the finish line. Their names, as their usual speeches, are not important.The Right hammers loudly about immigration and security as they don't offer real changes while governing. The Left claims for social equity and more money for all. During their speeches they avoid the ideals of their opponents. No Left will try to explain their plans to fight against immigration and security. On the other side the Right would never defend an equal social planning nor money justice. A tedious campaign goes along when everybody goes defending his own ideas and suspected demagogy. The Left will succeed to the Right completing a 5 years vicious circle in the name of change. Then the excuse will come like: we couldn't change all that we wanted because of the previous owners and the economy was doing so bad we had no chances to act.Till the next election comes.

The Right is right, the immigration flow cannot be fully open as it was after WWII. The French boat is overpopulated now and there is not enough work to accept more and more people jumping on it. The Left raises the alarm of racism and so on. This is as usual as that they defend more of the social help for the minorities without actually making a difference between the good and the bad minorities. In return, the Right defends the repression of the baddies. Normal. None of them search to provide politics aiming to actually perform results. Meanwhile, the country slowly goes down. France has to decide between following the Right politics and provide more control to the rich while also providing less rights to the commons or, go with the Left flow and provide better social rights for the vast majority with no control at all.

Change is needed indeed. But there is not one that will merely change the path 180°. Sarkozy’s politics must be humanized and heterogeneous. The Left needs to be realistic with their choices and make a difference between being fair and being laxists. Who wins in this battle? The Far Right. Unfortunately they represent a real change. And a will to change. If their positions about Europe and protectionism were not the one they defend, I'm sure they would have gone further than the 17,9% they got. Going against the Europe concept is futile and stupid. We don't need to get out but to really get in. Europe will only profit from having common laws and structures, not the lobbies, the great partners of the politicians. Also protectionism won't last long against the moving Europe. Protecting European companies and avoiding the fact that those same companies re-open in China, India or countries like Romania where labor is cheaper, will also be more effective. Even without those badchoices, the Far Right attracts more and more people who are fed up with the political Status Quo of the Left/Right continuing being set on repeat. A change is bad, or worse, with Marine le Pen (which is by the way an artistic name of her real one, Marion le Pen).

The Far Left? They too have good and bad ideas but the French Media only represent the Right and the Left andthe Far Right during the campaigns, leaving the other groups as mere entertainment for the masses, being onlyreferenced to as comic relief of the « real » politics.

Left and Right are here to stay in power and allow a false sense of democracy to the commons. The Far Right is the pepper of this tasteless plate. Also it's a warranty that in case of one of the usual finalists won't make it, the new contender will be defeated with no problems. Because when the Far Right has a real chance of being in theGovernment whole of France (except some 15 to 25%) says no. Going on a final duel against them is the same as a Victory.

The day another party will be competing with either Left or Right it will be an historical moment of change. One that could lead to the reforms needed for a new Republic state. For now it's just a National game of musical chairs between them. The upcoming 6th of this month May the game of the same music will restart for another 5 more years.

Begging

France has many problems, besides being inhabited by Frenchies, one of them being the crawling mendicity all over the streets. Some self imposed, other real troubled people and even some criminalized groups.

One colleague justly pointed out to me that some actually are showing us that there is another way to live than the one we all must follow. Indeed, he has a point. Is their life worth more than ours that work and die running after mindless material possessions? Working and dying for nothing? Those I smile at, because they follow the path they desire, never asking for pity or more than a couple of coins in order to see the very next day and its wonders. Along with a few beers. Sadly they don't do anything to deserve it. At least a show, at least a good jape. Nothing.

I pity those who hit the streets out of their ending worlds, but I do not do much than throwing some coins once in while. But I despise the institutionalized false poverty that some gypsies and romanian mafias use and abuse in many corners of France. Some female beggars will shake an empty paper glass to make me hear the coins while saying pitié pitié, or a child will come looking at me with puppies eyes asking for "une pièce", never accepting a no for an answer. Asking as if I would say yes at some point. Others join their hands and ask with their silent faces. Almost true if it was not for the pimp guy a few meters behind them waiting for the daily salary. Or was it the glimpse of the golden teeth they show? They chose to live like that, living on the false kindness of those who help them. Some even refuse food. They want money. Some are forced to. But it's part of a system that can be controlled.

So much falsehood.

Meanwhile some souls are shattered and wait to die in the alley. Needing help that vultures keep away from them. They don't ask for anything, just letting go of life. Those we don't see. Happy to have made a good action feeding the professional beggars. We wait for the next winter to take as many as possible while we share a Christmas meal.

Did I mention the nice store windows that many youngsters make in their nice brand clothes in the city? Asking for 40 cents in front of the subway entrance? Poor guys. Spending so much money on clothes and hair conditioning oblige them to beg for a subway pass. Because today there is someone not allowing them to jump the barrier. Otherwise no money would be needed. Fashion is a demanding lover. And also here they prefer to have a G-star shirt than a decent meal. Trying to become someone they'll never be, trying to wear an image they will only see themselves in a world focused on looking into itself .

I'm not sure who the beggar is in all of this.

About Love and Work

Works are like relationships. During the seduction game it's all smiles and big promises both of eternal love and good practice. The first real date is always a shy one, nobody wants to overdo or show off. Both lovers waiting to discover more about the other agreeing on everything in a perfect world. After a few month some differences starts to appears, unexpected disagreements leading to some discontentment that are denied as “it's just a phase”.

Most work couples will go on smoothly for that part on because both of them know who is holding the pants in this relationship A.K.A. the Man (Using the old fashioned way of thinking that the man is the omnipotent final decider of everything. Well, to be true, never was and never will be: french readers check this). But love is not about who is the boss or who make the decisions. It's about concessions and dual evolution. Its a continuous process of finding solutions that please both of the contributors.

Phrases like:

• “Because I say so”

• “We do it this way as usual”

• “You have to do this this way”

• “For now this is our method”

• “We can't change this now”

• “It's perfect like that we do not need to change”

Should rise the DEFCON alarm of any employee. Listening and not acting is a bad move but not even listening is even worse. In love and at work be realist: claim for the best and nothing else. From this point it's a matter of what the lovers desire from each other: someone to be there or someone to be, there. The respect of your counter part, loved one or, as in many cases like mine,your best half, is primordial for a good love affair that can turn into a magnificent love story.

Working is and should be to all a way to do what they love and be rewarded accordingly their efforts. Yes, I know: it sounds so “fleur bleue” but it all depends on what you desire in life: the best for you or just something to tag along. I am old enough (or mature if I can express this work with “I” in the same phrase) to know what I want to be and to do. Everything under my requests are not taken into account anymore. I am a loving person and I do give all that I have and do not have for the ones I love. But I do it to those who deserve it. Work is not an exception, it's actually a statement of this ideal.

For many years I held on some work relationships even when this rule of good practice was not respected. It lead me to non fulfillment, unhappiness, disease and even bad temper (which I confess I “may” possess) reaching sometimes the high level of drama queen (without the gay part). So now my work life is aimed to be where I am supposed to be with the kind of persons I wish to be with. Not more not less. No offense taken if we both don't find what we wish for during the first months with this significant other.

I split recently because we both knew we were not going anywhere together. And I confess shamelessly: I've been seeing someone for some time now.