About Love and Work

Works are like relationships. During the seduction game it's all smiles and big promises both of eternal love and good practice. The first real date is always a shy one, nobody wants to overdo or show off. Both lovers waiting to discover more about the other agreeing on everything in a perfect world. After a few month some differences starts to appears, unexpected disagreements leading to some discontentment that are denied as “it's just a phase”.

Most work couples will go on smoothly for that part on because both of them know who is holding the pants in this relationship A.K.A. the Man (Using the old fashioned way of thinking that the man is the omnipotent final decider of everything. Well, to be true, never was and never will be: french readers check this). But love is not about who is the boss or who make the decisions. It's about concessions and dual evolution. Its a continuous process of finding solutions that please both of the contributors.

Phrases like:

• “Because I say so”

• “We do it this way as usual”

• “You have to do this this way”

• “For now this is our method”

• “We can't change this now”

• “It's perfect like that we do not need to change”

Should rise the DEFCON alarm of any employee. Listening and not acting is a bad move but not even listening is even worse. In love and at work be realist: claim for the best and nothing else. From this point it's a matter of what the lovers desire from each other: someone to be there or someone to be, there. The respect of your counter part, loved one or, as in many cases like mine,your best half, is primordial for a good love affair that can turn into a magnificent love story.

Working is and should be to all a way to do what they love and be rewarded accordingly their efforts. Yes, I know: it sounds so “fleur bleue” but it all depends on what you desire in life: the best for you or just something to tag along. I am old enough (or mature if I can express this work with “I” in the same phrase) to know what I want to be and to do. Everything under my requests are not taken into account anymore. I am a loving person and I do give all that I have and do not have for the ones I love. But I do it to those who deserve it. Work is not an exception, it's actually a statement of this ideal.

For many years I held on some work relationships even when this rule of good practice was not respected. It lead me to non fulfillment, unhappiness, disease and even bad temper (which I confess I “may” possess) reaching sometimes the high level of drama queen (without the gay part). So now my work life is aimed to be where I am supposed to be with the kind of persons I wish to be with. Not more not less. No offense taken if we both don't find what we wish for during the first months with this significant other.

I split recently because we both knew we were not going anywhere together. And I confess shamelessly: I've been seeing someone for some time now.